Easy Access....

Many times of late I have battled with feelings of guilt, unworthiness, laziness and sometimes even condemnation.  I think I understand more and more why the Apostle Paul said in 1 Timothy 1:15, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst."  I find it interesting that this writing produced later in Paul's life didn't proclaim how righteous he was in Christ, or how God had made such a marvelous work of his life.  He just was completely aware the he was the worst of sinners.  Hmmm....  Now I'm going to assume HE WAS RIGHT, at least at the time.  I read somewhere someone saying that Paul wasn't exaggerating.  He of all people was given so much grace, so much revelation of God, so much power to accomplish God's will, and yet he still fell so far short of all he could have done had he not been... a sinner.  


Only one has ever accomplished all God called him to do.  His name is Jesus.


I think I know a little how Paul felt.  I have been given so much love and affirmation.  I have an amazing wife and daughter, amazing parents and friends, and have been given so much support.  I have known God since I was six years old, and have been taught all about God's love and power.  I have read books and been to conferences, and I work in a church where I get to pray and seek God and hear awesome teaching.  And yet I struggle so much to just love God.  I feel lazy, wicked and selfish.  Most of all, it just makes me feel completely undeserving.


So then I begin to ask myself: how can I pray?  How can I go before such a loving, giving and Holy God and ask for anything when I am so unworthy?  I already waste the grace and power He has already given me.  How can I go back before Him and ask again?  He deserves so much, and I fail so miserably!  

But then I begin to see the cross.  Now I begin to understand the amazing love of my Father.  By the cross it's not about me any more, it's about what Jesus did for me.  By the cross it's not about the grace I have wasted, it's about the grace he purchased.  By the cross I have access to new grace, daily.  By the cross there is fresh power to overcome today's challenges.  And I am never, ever, ever condemned again!  The condemnation was put on the cross, and it died with my Lord!


So today, by the cross, "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)  What an amazing promise!  What an amazing grace!


What an amazing God!