URGENT PRAYER REQUEST FROM MATT & BETH EVANS:

"Last night Beth's oxygen levels dropped and she had to be put on an oxygen mask to get her levels back up. They moved her into a "step up" unit for closer observation. We spoke with Dr. Boulad this morning and asked lots of questions. He informed us that this puts us at a more serious level right now. 

The cause of this is 1 of 3 things:

1) Infection (they are giving her everything under the sun to prevent/cure infections)

2) Fluid on the lungs (they are giving her stuff to rid her body of fluids)

3) Toxicity from chemo/radiation

We just need lots of prayer right now for this lung & oxygen issue to be cured and cleared.

 We still are moving to transplant sometime later today.

Matt

Go away from me, Lord!

Luke 5:4-11 (New International Version)


4 When [Jesus] had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”  5 Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”  6 When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. 7 So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.  8 When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” 9 For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10 and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.  Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.” 11 So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.


Going along with Jesus always results in one thing for me, a realization that I am in WAAAAAY over my head.  It just feels like life is too big for me, requires too much from me, and there is so much going on around me that I couldn’t for a moment manage or control.  It feels more like being on a roller coaster, holding on for dear life, but while I’m riding hills and going through loops I’m trying to do my little tasks and in the midst of massive movement. 


“Go away from me, Lord!”  Peter realized that Jesus was drawing near to him.  Peter could tell that being around Jesus would put him in over his head.  And that always scares us, because we realize we will never be able to manage the scope or magnitude of what God is calling us to join Him in.  We are confronted with us, compared to Him.  And it’s too much.


“Do not be afraid.”  The cure for our fear is HIS LOVE.  He loves me, and will never leave me.  He will teach me, and He will equip and guide me.  Each time Jesus fed the masses of thousands of people, He started with someone bringing him a few fish and a few loaves of bread.  And that is all He is asking of us.  Bring him our little lives, our little selves, and watch him work.  Bring him your little talents and skills, your few moments and your prayers, AND WATCH HIM SHAKE YOUR WORLD!  He LOVES US!  


Let our faith rise up in the love of our God.  Ride the roller coaster!  Don’t ask to get off.  Ride it, knowing that it is under control - HIS.  And know that every act of faith and obedience to Him is magnified.  He is what we need.  


Don’t be afraid.  From now on, we will catch men!

Loneliness isn't for you...

I was single until age 34, which of course is a bit out of the norm, so I had a lot of loneliness to deal with through those years.  It is a painful and scary place to be, and I found myself sometimes doing the “what if I die an old man in an apartment somewhere and nobody even knows I’m gone” thing.  I remember occasional panic attacks on a Friday or Saturday night if I couldn’t find someone to hang out with, because it just made me feel so isolated.  Loneliness is a real feeling, but I find it’s greatest power is in the FEAR of “will this ever end?”

I remember a specific season when all my roommates left and since I owned a big house, I was there alone.  I had never lived alone, and begged God not to force me to live alone.  At the same time, most of my friends were out of the picture for various reasons (dating, out of state, etc.), and so I had a lot of weekends and nights to myself.  I was heavily involved at church, so I wasn’t without interactions, but the whole thing just felt scary.  And of course the old man in the apartment fear always lingered in the back of my mind.

One day in a prayer time God spoke to my heart.  I suddenly realized that nowhere in scripture is it God’s desire for us to be lonely.  Psalm 68:5-6, and 68:19 say this:

5   A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.
6   God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing;  but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”  
19 Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.

God is with us, so we are never alone!  He is the one who takes up our causes and our pain, and He is the one passionate to see us through!  I felt God speak a truth to my heart that demolished all the fear I had been feeling.  This truth became a foundation for joy and peace in my life:

God ALWAYS wants us in relationships, especially with HIM. 

God will NEVER be working to isolate us or disconnect us long term.  The fear of dying old and alone with no one caring is from Hell.  Now this doesn’t mean my own actions or the actions of others won’t cause damage and destruction, but I learned then the path AWAY from loneliness is a path of pursuing God.

During this time I learned some key principles for handling loneliness that I have never forgotten.

God’s presence is real.  If I will seek Him, pray and read the bible, and treat Him like the real presence He says He is, He truly does become a strong tower, a shield, a refuge, etc.  His peace and His joy are beyond compare, and they come only from a relationship with Him!

Stay ENGAGED!  I believe scripture squarely puts some responsibility on us to make an effort in life, but we can be sure if we are trying to have relationships with God and others, He will bless that.  Hebrews 10:25 tells us what God wants:
“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Also, God clearly wants us serving each other and meeting other’s needs.  Galatians 5:13 says:
“You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love.”
We are given life to love God and love others.  We need to be active in our pursuit of ministering to others needs.  Which leads me to another point…

Accept whoever God provides!  I will say some of my most meaningful relationships came out of a prayer: “God, this person drives me crazy.  But if you want me to love them, I am willing.”  Many of my best relationships started hard, but became life-long connections.
Keep your eyes open.  God wants us to be willing to engage with people from all walks of life.

Enjoy life!  During this time I came to enjoy the benefits of living by myself.  There are some definite advantages, although I much prefer married life, and even roommates.  But it wasn’t so scary!  I watched movies, cooked out, and bought an XBOX and had a blast.

But I think the most crucial step for me was this one:

Deal with the FEAR.  The only way I was able to enjoy life at all and accept living alone is because God reassured me this was only for a season.  I wasn’t afraid anymore.  I knew His long term will, and I knew He wanted the fear gone, and He wanted me to seek a stronger relationship with Him.  Fear is a crippling condition that we must address, otherwise it will suck the life out of us, no matter what God is trying to do, good or bad.

God took me through this time for six months, where I had more time to myself than ever before.  But I found out that He was there, it was only for a season, and that I could trust my Father.

Easy Access....

Many times of late I have battled with feelings of guilt, unworthiness, laziness and sometimes even condemnation.  I think I understand more and more why the Apostle Paul said in 1 Timothy 1:15, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst."  I find it interesting that this writing produced later in Paul's life didn't proclaim how righteous he was in Christ, or how God had made such a marvelous work of his life.  He just was completely aware the he was the worst of sinners.  Hmmm....  Now I'm going to assume HE WAS RIGHT, at least at the time.  I read somewhere someone saying that Paul wasn't exaggerating.  He of all people was given so much grace, so much revelation of God, so much power to accomplish God's will, and yet he still fell so far short of all he could have done had he not been... a sinner.  


Only one has ever accomplished all God called him to do.  His name is Jesus.


I think I know a little how Paul felt.  I have been given so much love and affirmation.  I have an amazing wife and daughter, amazing parents and friends, and have been given so much support.  I have known God since I was six years old, and have been taught all about God's love and power.  I have read books and been to conferences, and I work in a church where I get to pray and seek God and hear awesome teaching.  And yet I struggle so much to just love God.  I feel lazy, wicked and selfish.  Most of all, it just makes me feel completely undeserving.


So then I begin to ask myself: how can I pray?  How can I go before such a loving, giving and Holy God and ask for anything when I am so unworthy?  I already waste the grace and power He has already given me.  How can I go back before Him and ask again?  He deserves so much, and I fail so miserably!  

But then I begin to see the cross.  Now I begin to understand the amazing love of my Father.  By the cross it's not about me any more, it's about what Jesus did for me.  By the cross it's not about the grace I have wasted, it's about the grace he purchased.  By the cross I have access to new grace, daily.  By the cross there is fresh power to overcome today's challenges.  And I am never, ever, ever condemned again!  The condemnation was put on the cross, and it died with my Lord!


So today, by the cross, "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)  What an amazing promise!  What an amazing grace!


What an amazing God!

Walking in the Spirit...

Last weekend I got to hear Matt speak on our incredible need for the Holy Spirit in our lives.  We were able to pray for God to fill us with himself and to help us by the presence of the Spirit of God.  What an incredible gift God has given us of Himself!

John 14:26 says:  “the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”

Many times I’ve been asked about what I think it means to walk in the Spirit, and to allow the Spirit to move in my life.  The amazing thing is that recently God has really been teaching me on this very subject.  Things at Rock Bridge move so fast, and many times I get overwhelmed at what I perceive I am not accomplishing.  Working at Shaw was the often the same way, and my wife tells me being a mom feels the same way too.  I think this is how God WANTS things to be, IMPOSSIBLE for us to do on our own!

Life was that way for Jesus.  He had three years to train everyone to take on the ministry after him, convince them of who he was, and tick all the religious leaders off enough to have himself killed on a cross on the specific date of Passover, all the while fulfilling countless other biblical prophecies.  Can you imagine the pressure of trying to make all that happen!  But there was no pressure for him.  He knew his father was with him, so he trusted and walked in the presence and power of God, knowing that all was being orchestrated by heaven.  All he had to do was listen and obey.  Watch and follow.

That’s what it is to walk in the Spirit.  Stay attentive.  Listen for the gentle nudging, the whisper of a correcting voice in our hearts.  The “don’t say that”, or “you need to love them”, or “trust me, I’ve got you!”  I have noticed one thing for sure, if I am not hearing a correcting nudge, or an expanding truth, or just something that makes me realize something new, then I am not walking with the Spirit.  The greatest indication of my dependence on Him is my urgency for prayer, and the awareness of my need for His voice.

I have found the more I trust and let go, the more my to do list seems to dwindle.  The more I listen and obey the simpler things become, the harder things get easier, the chaotic things take on order. 

God is good!  And He is faithful!  He has given us of Himself in the form of the Holy Spirit to accomplish His will and live for His glory!

Broken and Contrite

Isaiah 57:15 
       For this is what the high and lofty One says—
       he who lives forever, whose name is holy: 
       "I live in a high and holy place, 
       but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, 
       to revive the spirit of the lowly 
       and to revive the heart of the contrite."


Contrite: (Adjective) Feeling or expressing remorse or penitence; affected by guilt.


I am constantly amazed at the God I love and serve.  How in the world can He be the high and lofty one, who lives in a high and holy place, and yet also WANT to be with us, especially when we are contrite and lowly?  


I am in awe of the heart of our God, that He loves us so much that when we are broken and sorrowful we find His power and His presence so available.  How can this be?  I could question it, but there is the cross, the horrible payment for my sins standing before me. Concrete proof through all of time that God loves us with a love beyond measure and understanding.  A love that we must decide how to answer.  Shall we respond and love back?  Or shall we turn away callously and reject such a great gesture of compassion and mercy?  Is life lived our own way, on our own terms really so great?  I don't think so...


So I shall seek the place of grace, the place of power, the place of rest...  Contrite and lowly!!!

The American Dream Nightmare?

Lauren Henley is an amazing young lady at our church who recently wrote the following.  Her feelings echo what many in our church are realizing, specifically from David Platt's book, "Radical."  However, we see God's spirit at work because Lauren has not read the book, which warns us that the American Dream is not all it's cracked up to be...


From Lauren:

I thought that I would share some of my thoughts/ revelations of what the Lord has been doing in my life.

From the day I was born (and probably most of us), I was raised by my family, my school, and by culture to get a college degree, use my brains to earn a living, get married, have children (in which I instill the same future), and make money so that I can afford way too many things.

-Isn't this the American Dream? Aren't we all supposed to work a 9-5 job with good insurance, TRY to own a house that we don't need/can't afford, send our kids in 500 different directions to 500 different extra activities, and have a good retirement package; because if you don't have those things you won't survive, won't be able to live.

I feel like we have taken some of the blessings and "lifeboats" that the Lord has given us and turned them into necessities. There is nothing evil about having 4 family cars, because God can use them to send us on his missions, but the absolute NEED for it can be evil. There is nothing wrong with working a conventional job with good insurance and retirement package, because God our Provider- Jehovah Jireh uses that job, but it is terribly wrong to box God in by saying that you can only be successful and "happy" if you live this American Dream life.

What if God has a different plan for our generation? What if we are called to break a generational curse of greed and self-reliance?

We have all used anti-bacterial hand soap. It is in every elementary school, hospital, and grocery store. This soap is so powerful that is cleans all the bad bacteria’s and germs that we encounter on a daily basis. Thanks to this soap we may have prevented a week in bed with the flu.
- There is a downside, not only have we gotten rid of our harmful bacteria’s, but we have also erased our immunity to them. Our natural ability to fight off these invaders is gone. This soap has become our sickness "savior".

This makes me think. Have we taken the safeguards and the protections God has given us: our homes, our nice clothes and cars, our insurance and retirement packages, and have turned them into our "saviors"? Do we no longer need Jehovah Jireh when we can provide for ourselves, when our jobs and our things take place of our Savior?

We all know that our economy is in the absolute pits. Why is this? Could it be because we are a greedy nation? Is it because we are so fixated on our American Dream that we forget to tithe, take care of the poor, and live a humble life?

I think that we have taken our American Dream and washed our hands in it so many times that we have lost our immunity to adversity, and boy is it here! No wonder America is freaking out over the economy! We don't know how to rely on anything but a retirement plan, let alone a Savior.

What if God is calling us to be a generation who lives within our means, not only that, but lives within the means of the job God has called us to, and not the one society tells us we need to have. It may be a conventional 9-5 job, it may not. Are we willing to say "yes Lord!" if he calls us to travel in a band that makes no money, or if he calls us to forsake our desires and trust that the plan he has for us is better, or if he calls us to give everything we have to the poor?

I don't know about y'all but I feel convicted. All my life I have set my goals to match the American Dream, when this very dream is the nightmare our nation has fallen into.

My hope is that we will be in hard and faithful prayer for each other and for our generation. If we don't wake up from the American Dream nightmare, we are going to miss out on the incredible, out of the box, plans the Lord has for our lives.

I hope that my words were not my own.

Why I work at Rock Bridge...

I have no seminary degree... I have no formal church or ministry experience... I have an engineering degree and yet I work at an amazing church called Rock Bridge. In many ways it makes no sense at all, but for me it has been a wild journey that I wouldn't trade for anything. As for why they hired me, that's up to Matt and the elders and the people of Rock Bridge to explain, but I sure can tell you why I stay...

One of my favorite verses is in Isaiah 42:16. This passage got me through one of the toughest periods of my life. It says:

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,

along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;

I will turn the darkness into light before them

and make the rough places smooth.

These are the things I will do;

I will not forsake them."

I began to see in this verse an amazing picture of God taking us down paths we don't know, into areas foreign to us, and that this should be an EXPECTATION of life, not an exception. If I am not running into situations and circumstances beyond me, something is wrong. I'm not following God.

But my favorite part in this is that God clearly leads THE BLIND! In my dark days when I realized how blind I was, I then began to be comforted and know that the blindness is OK! God doesn't particularly care to let me see what all is going on around me. He's not concerned with my lack of vision. His concern is whether or not I am following His voice and allowing Him to lead me.

I work for Rock Bridge because Matt Evans (our Sr. Pastor) never pretends to know it all. He never pretends to have all the answers or to see the future or even have a grasp on the challenges we will face. But that's OK. He is a blind man being led by God! He goes in his office and lays on the floor and prays, and asks God to lead him. And he comes out with a new thought, a new idea revealed from the bible, a new heart urging, and he says, "let's follow God on this." I have seen it happen countless times where even in my own prayers God will be laying things on my heart, and I will walk into Matt's office, and he will say the exact same things before I even bring them up. And then our elders will confirm it and we will so clearly know that our big and awesome God has this ragged band of blind people by the hand!

People say a lot of things about our church, mostly good, but sometimes not. But I will clearly say one thing, Rock Bridge is a church of blind people pursuing the voice of their Savior. There has never, ever been a day here when I felt the leadership of this church was not listening for God, for His voice, and for His heart. It's a great thing to be a part of a body that I know has Jesus at the wheel! I can't wait to go where God is leading us next!!!

Holy Work...

Often times I run into people that I used to work with at Shaw. Since I spent almost 14 years there, working in seven different plants/locations I racked up a lot of good friends, and had an amazing time. In all honesty the most frequent statement is, "I bet you're glad you got out of there." I don't think people really hate it, I think they are just assuming that my work in ministry now is just so much more fulfilling and exciting.

My response to them is always the same: I absolutely LOVED working for Shaw. Don't get me wrong, working at Rock Bridge is the fulfillment of my heart's dream. Every time I interviewed for a new position within Shaw the question would come out, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Every time I responded that I hoped to be in full time ministry. So working at Rock Bridge is my little boy God-put-it-in-my-heart dream come true.

But I also loved being in the secular work place. I realized over time how much an impact God could have on people's lives there. I saw Christians in the work place coming in every day, giving everything they had to work hard, make good product, love their co-workers, and go home and love their families and their communities. I saw "creelers" and lift truck drivers with simple but profound faith that would pray and seek God. I met mechanics that ended up being like second fathers to me, encouraging my faith. I worked with supervisors who became my closest friends! One took me to the craziest pentecostal healing service I've ever been to in my life! The "healer" ended up being on 60 Minutes as a fraud! I still laugh about that night!

I've worked with Customer Service agents, Sales VP's, from top to bottom who tried to act fairly, but mercifully, to treat their customers right and treat their fellow employees well. Many, many days I saw Jesus in the work place. I was profoundly pastored and affected by the Quality Manager of one plant where I worked.

I came to realize as a manager, with people I was responsible for leading, that God cared very deeply about my responsibility and he cared very deeply about how I treated people. Many times He rebuked me when my own ego or selfishness hurt others. The weight of the responsibility of leadership is huge and heavy when I carry it outside of the Holy Spirit. But when I carry it with Him, walking in absolute obedience to Him, I saw improved morale, better results, miracles in our midst, and Jesus honored gloriously. I saw many people come to know Jesus because of the faithful and steady encouragement of a co-worker.

I believe the workplace can be hallowed ground, full of the power of God. God's first command to Adam in Genesis was to "be fruitful... and fill the earth and subdue it." Basically, get out there and make the world a better place because of your presence. Most people will never work in a church, but every Christian on the face of the earth is called to full-time ministry. The question is will they see that call and pursue it, or waste it and let God moments pass them by....

I've had enough...

Recently I’ve been reading the book of Acts. I am always amazed that the no matter how many times I have read something, God always brings new truth out for me to see. Lately He has been wrecking me, and convicting me, but…. stirring my heart and my imagination for what CAN BE.

Acts 4:13 says, “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” All my life I spend so much time equipping myself, trying to learn and grow and be a better follower of Christ. I spend so much time on the equipping, not realizing that I spend so little time on courage.

Matt brought out this last weekend a powerful point in Hebrews 5:12, “In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers…” Of all people I should be “teaching” those around me all I can about Jesus! I should be giving what I have away! I am so self-centered and fearful of failure and rejection! How can this be? From my own reading of what happens in the house churches in China and India and in many foreign countries, there are pastors and church leaders equipping and raising up others with passionate faith, and they have less bible knowledge and equipping than our children who have grown up in Sunday Schools and children’s church! I realize from the book of Acts that the missing ingredient for me and for us as Christians in the American church is COURAGE!

I fear the rejection and the repercussions of living courageously for Jesus. I fear the cost. Well I have had enough of fear. I have had enough of self-centered “feed me” American Christianity. I have had enough of staring enviously at those disciples who were uneducated ordinary men, and the incredible impact they had on our world. The disciples spent three years with Jesus and then changed everything because they lived radically dependent on the power of the Holy Spirit, and they knew that if they would GO out courageously, God would meet them there powerfully.

I’m going! And I know God will meet me there, too!