Arguing with a homeless man...

This morning I got into an argument with a homeless man.  He decided that he is the Arch Angel Gabriel and was sent to tell me about the end of times.  He also added that the right wing Christian people are hypocrites and will be judged.  He also told me all ways to God are the same including Buddha, and that I didn’t know who Jesus was myself, but he did.
 
The sad part of all this is that this man has actually come to our church before, and although still strange, he was never this out of it.  How did he get this way?  And what could we have done to help him?

This morning I did something I normally don’t do and sat down and tried to reason with him.  I normally don’t like conflict or getting into arguments, but my heart broke for him and for the smell and look of his homelessness and all he was wearing.  My heart broke at his rage and anger toward me and toward Christians when he didn’t even know me and I realized how far from the peace and the love of my Savior he actually was.

Lord my prayer is this: please break my heart more – help me to have the passion and the desire and the sorrow that You have for a lost and hurting and broken world.  Please don’t let me stay in a quiet comfortable safe mental world.  Lord, drive me out by the pain and the brokenness that drove you into our world.  Your love never stops searching for us.  Lord let that love be alive in me today.  Please rescue this man.  Rescue me.  That is my prayer today.  Amen

Stealing Kisses

I have a 13 month little girl, who of course is the cutest baby on the planet.  One of the most frustrating things for me as a daddy who so loves this little girl is that I just want to kiss her little face ten thousand times.  But she rarely if ever kisses me back.  She isn't a cuddler much and so affection from her is rare and greatly treasured.  So whenever I get to hold her and carry her either up or down the stairs or to and from some place, I use the opportunity to steal a few kisses.  I'm her daddy, after all.  She tolerates it enough, and occasionally I get one back!

In all honesty there's something else to this: I know she needs it.  This little girl needs to know that I love her, she is precious to me, and that she is safe with me.  She doesn't even know how much she needs that assurance, because I am glad to say she has never gone without it.  I have been around those who haven't had the affection of a father or mother.  I have been to foreign places where affection is so rare that children who don't even know you climb in your lap, and put their heads on your shoulders craving to know they are significant in the eyes of someone.  They need this.

And we need it too, most especially from God, the source of the perfect love, the perfect reassurance, the perfect acceptance.  And I realize that all my life God has been chasing me, time after time, stealing kisses...  A sunset that caught my heart.  A bright starry sky in Colorado.  A friend who comes up beside me and prays for me.  My wife, when she looks at me and tells me she believes in me.  A church service where God speaks straight to me and comforts my fears.  All love comes from God, because he invented it.  God wants to love me.

Isaiah 30:15 says, "This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.'"

Do we realize that in the loving arms of God is the strength to live?  Do we realize that in rest and quietness with him we find the love and acceptance that heals the wounds of the world and give us an renewed courage and faith that we can make it?  So often though, we will "have none of it."  We push the snooze, jump frantically into the shower and rush off.  Our prayers are quick, desperate, and over meals if at all.  The Bible is dusty and rarely opened except maybe at church.

So God resorts to stealing kisses, loving us anyway, but grieving that we don't realize what we could have... if we loved him back.

New update on Beth Evans...

Here is the latest from Matt and Beth Evans...


We just spoke with Dr. Boulad today ... another good report.  They continue to wean her off the IV meds and replace them with pills. She should be completely off morphine early tomorrow (they have to wean you off morphine b/c of its addictive effects).
They give you a special drug to stimulate your white blood count. Beth is no longer taking that so her counts are leveling off.
Her new marrow is now making red blood cells and platelets. She is still getting an occasional platelet transfusion during this transition as the new blood cells keep up and then build up.  She has not had a red cell transfusion in quite some time.

So ... counts are looking good and getting better, organs look good, pain is under control and almost gone, and all IV meds are being either eliminated or replaced by pills.
The dangers remain infections and Graft Versus Host Disease but the doctors are very vigilant and proactive in prevention.
As of now, Beth should be released from the hospital sometime late tomorrow (Tuesday).
She will then be in outpatient status for quite some time (and would be readmitted in the event of a fever, signs of infection, or any sign of Graft versus Host Disease).

Feel free to share this and please keep praying for Beth to regain strength, for her counts to continue to strengthen, and for protection against infection & Graft vs. Host Disease.

Thanks so much!!
Matt

Another awesome Beth Evans Update!

BETH UPDATE!!!

Today Beth actually had a "neutrophil" count of 1.0.

A neutrophil is the specific type of white cell the doctors look for to determine in engraftment of the new marrow is occurring.

A neutrophil count >0.5 for 3 consecutive days equals engraftment.

So if Beth keeps this count for 2 more days, the bone marrow will have officially and medically and prayerfully ENGRAFTED!!

The chemo side effects are getting a little worse (mouth & throat sores; can't eat; upset stomach at times) but as Beth gains white cells they will start helping all this stuff heal up so it is just part of this long fight.

Thanks for the love, prayers, and support!

matt

LATEST BETH EVANS UPDATE!

Here is the latest from Matt:

Today the doctors came in and shocked us with the news that Beth has a white blood cell count as of today, DAY 7 after transplant.

This is significant for a couple of reasons:

1) This means the stem cells are actually now producing cells. Medically, this is good news that has arrived a few days early!!

2) Today is Barry Patterson's birthday. Barry died of Fanconi related bone marrow failure and is Beth's brother. We PRAYED for something to occur on THIS SPECIFIC DAY ... and God answered!!

However, this does NOT mean engraftment has occurred. The doctors define engraftment as 3 consecutive days of a neutrophil count (a neutrophil is a specific type of white blood cell) above 0.5. So please continue to pray for engraftment.

Thanks so much for your prayers!!

Matt

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST FROM MATT & BETH EVANS:

"Last night Beth's oxygen levels dropped and she had to be put on an oxygen mask to get her levels back up. They moved her into a "step up" unit for closer observation. We spoke with Dr. Boulad this morning and asked lots of questions. He informed us that this puts us at a more serious level right now. 

The cause of this is 1 of 3 things:

1) Infection (they are giving her everything under the sun to prevent/cure infections)

2) Fluid on the lungs (they are giving her stuff to rid her body of fluids)

3) Toxicity from chemo/radiation

We just need lots of prayer right now for this lung & oxygen issue to be cured and cleared.

 We still are moving to transplant sometime later today.

Matt

Go away from me, Lord!

Luke 5:4-11 (New International Version)


4 When [Jesus] had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”  5 Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”  6 When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. 7 So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.  8 When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” 9 For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10 and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.  Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.” 11 So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.


Going along with Jesus always results in one thing for me, a realization that I am in WAAAAAY over my head.  It just feels like life is too big for me, requires too much from me, and there is so much going on around me that I couldn’t for a moment manage or control.  It feels more like being on a roller coaster, holding on for dear life, but while I’m riding hills and going through loops I’m trying to do my little tasks and in the midst of massive movement. 


“Go away from me, Lord!”  Peter realized that Jesus was drawing near to him.  Peter could tell that being around Jesus would put him in over his head.  And that always scares us, because we realize we will never be able to manage the scope or magnitude of what God is calling us to join Him in.  We are confronted with us, compared to Him.  And it’s too much.


“Do not be afraid.”  The cure for our fear is HIS LOVE.  He loves me, and will never leave me.  He will teach me, and He will equip and guide me.  Each time Jesus fed the masses of thousands of people, He started with someone bringing him a few fish and a few loaves of bread.  And that is all He is asking of us.  Bring him our little lives, our little selves, and watch him work.  Bring him your little talents and skills, your few moments and your prayers, AND WATCH HIM SHAKE YOUR WORLD!  He LOVES US!  


Let our faith rise up in the love of our God.  Ride the roller coaster!  Don’t ask to get off.  Ride it, knowing that it is under control - HIS.  And know that every act of faith and obedience to Him is magnified.  He is what we need.  


Don’t be afraid.  From now on, we will catch men!